Going
Do you feel stuck, or are you going somewhere? It's not because you're lazy, too busy, too rooted in place. The good news is you can go, and learn about yourself.
"Going" is another way of saying travel. I've been seeking a fitting word to describe my lifestyle: digital nomad, vagabond, traveler, peripatetic. None of them felt right until I realized I'm simply going and becoming. Still not perfect, but that's OK!
In that frame, I'll share a few of my most formative experiences. As always, feel free to take anything that sticks for you and leave the rest.
Language Expanded Me
Language taught me that expanding my outer world expands my inner world.
The first time I traveled was in high school after falling in love with the German language. In Germany for the first time, I felt the sense of independence and adventure I had been seeking. Plus, I had a skill to improve and master. Looking back, my principle of creative building blocks fits perfectly here.
Getting a haircut for the first time at a place that only spoke German was a moment of intense joy and forced me to put myself out there. In order to get what I needed in that moment, I had to drop self-doubt. This moment of courage showed me how travel changes who you become.
After 10 years away from my passion for languages, moving back to Berlin and not being able to stay more than 90 days marked the start of a new journey and an expanding understanding of myself and the world.
Drugs and Recovery Deepened Me
Drugs taught me that the darkest journeys have lessons to teach.
For a year or two, I was introduced to hard drugs and allowed myself to spiral down to an unrecognizable version of me that I was not proud of.
Not all journeys are outward, and not all are light. The moment it really hit was when my dad came to rescue me—the second time—and I broke down crying on the 9-hour car ride home when I realized it was his birthday. I was lost and needed to be re-found. Recovery gave me the chance.
Through this period of my life, I learned compassion and to be more at ease. I suffered, and I saw those around me carrying even deeper and darker pains. I gained so much personal strength and dropped the stuck-up, better-than-you attitude I had before.
Diving Connected Me
Diving taught me how to connect with people and be present in experiences.
After coming to Koh Tao, Thailand to visit my brother Curtis, I fell in love with diving. It opened up a whole new world to explore and I thoroughly enjoyed the skill stacking it opened up.
The island presented me with loads of new challenges and made me confront who I am and what I need. I connected with new people almost daily, heard their stories, and shared a bit of myself. The general vibe was tropical island, days blending together, insulated from the wider world.
This unusual place felt special. It was an oasis of connection and adventure.
Going with the flow on the island, I broke my sobriety during my snorkel test while becoming a divemaster. And you know what? This is OK too. After five years of sobriety, I had a couple nights of immense fun that I honestly believe I wouldn't have had otherwise.
The place, people, and experiences reminded me that breaking my own rules can carry lessons about joy and letting go.
Where You Can Go
You don't need to travel abroad to go somewhere; you can start where you are. Two questions can inspire a lifetime of discovery: who are you and what do you truly need?
Ask yourself these questions repeatedly until a new curiosity emerges. Go with that curiosity in whatever direction it takes you, and fully commit to it; experiment with it. On the other side, you'll have the clarity to know whether that is an aspect of yourself to integrate, put on the back-burner, or completely dispense with.
In the end, who you become depends on where you go, how you go, and the connections you make.
So, where will you go next?